“Bad Chief G!” I shouted at the poor stupid dog

• Mike Caro   Exit

Note: Not at the old Poker1 site. A version of this entry was originally published (1993) in Card Player magazine.

In the good old days, back in Denver where I grew up, a neighbor’s dog enjoyed digging deep holes in our vegetable garden. This happened so frequently that my folks started calling that toy poodle Chief Gardener. Within days, this became shortened to Chief G.

Early one morning, I spotted that dog digging up the rhubarb, so I rushed into the backyard and shouted, “BAD CHIEF G!” as loud as I could, shattering the silence before sunrise. I know what you’re thinking: Is that just some rambling remembrance from the Mad Genius, or does it have something to do with poker? Good question.

How to take this quiz. Let’s get going on today’s test. Here are the rules: First, I give you a list of poker long shots, numbered 1 through 9; second, I give you a list of odds, labeled A through I; (3) third, you arrange the letters A through I so they correspond to the poker long shots. Assume no knowledge of any cards, except those that I mention. Ready?

Test items 1 to 9. (1) The odds against beginning rolled-up (three of a kind on the first three cards) in seven-card stud. (2) The odds against holding “big slick” suited in hold’em (ace-king of the same suit). (3) The odds against making either a straight flush or a royal flush in seven-card stud when your first three cards are Q-J- 10 suited. (4) The odds against drawing out on a hold’em opponent when you both begin with pairs and flop sets (three of a kind), assuming no shots at play-the-board straights or at flushes. (5) The odds against beginning with A-A-2-2 of two matching suits in Omaha high-low split. (6) The odds against being dealt a pat eight or better in deuce-to-seven (Kansas City lowball). (7) The odds against drawing three cards to a pair in Old West-style five-card draw poker (52-card deck) and making at least a full house. (8) The odds against making a royal flush in seven-card stud when you begin with J-J-J. (9) The odds against making four of a kind in seven-card stud when you have two-pair after five cards.

Test answers A to H. (A) 331-1; (B) 424-1; (C) 22-1; (D) 66.2-1; (E) 76.2-1; (F) 70,624-1; (G) 539.5-1 (H) 45,120-1; (I) 141-1.

Here are the letters that match 1 through 9: B, A, D, C, H, I, E, F, and G. Wait! Talk about supernatural—I just noticed something. Years ago when I shouted “BAD CHIEF G!” at my neighbor’s dog, little did I know those same letters one day would be the possible answers in a poker quiz. Even more curious: How did those answers turn up in that exact order? Go figure those odds! — MC